Cursed Be Thy Name...
by Lachesis Fatali
Summary: A prayer to the all-knowing and uncaring God in X after the last battle. Kamui's POV.


"Cursed Be Thy Name"  
by Lachesis Fatali  
  
I wrote this after two hours of math, history, english and chemistry exams for two consecutive days, and watching the X movie (in which, might I add, Kamui sounds like an English school girl). I was feeling kind of pissed off at everything in general. So I thought "Gee, what better way to make myself feel better than to write a depressing, ranting monologue about whether or not Kamui had made the right choice in saving mankind". It kind of comforted me. At least I didn't have to go through all that (though ending the world would be kinda fun... I'd have the pleasure of destroying math). Anyway, enjoy.  
  
*************  
  
"It's not supposed to end this way."  
  
The words, filled with longing and regret so powerful and profound that all heaven wept with the lone angel, died as soon as they reached the noise of the bustling city. The institution of mankind, the haven of the very beings he strove to protect regardless of personal cost continued on without hearing his plea. Without caring about his pain. Without stopping for one moment, pausing for one infinitesimal second of their already too brief lives to possibly consider that the fate of everything as they knew it had today rested upon the shoulders of one fifteen year old boy. Selfish and shortsighted, they continued with their ever encroaching civilization, choking and raping the mother earth beneath their feet that had, in the beginning, given their creator the key to give them life.  
  
Perhaps they never should have been spared.  
  
But the earth would never know the other fate that had been planned for it. The Dreamseers and their line were dead, the last perishing upon the blade of the once bright scared sword, now tainted and tarnished with the blood of far too many innocents. The dark one, her twin star, had fallen into a snare of her own design, which no one mourned. The imprisoned one, who alone spoke the truth, was freed by his death at the hands of fate. And the youngest, the golden angel with the weakened heart which still bleed for the world, had lost her life to the very person she trusted above all others, her own flesh and blood.  
  
Were they so insignificant, that the world should ignore their sacrifice?  
  
The Biblical Seals that had accompanied him, supported him since he returned, had broken under the onslaught of the Harbringers. Sorata, whom he had trusted even before he realized his role, slain protecting his true love, smiling until the last. Arashi, no longer a reserve of quiet strength, lay crumpled over him, crystalline tears still apparent on her face; their blood, combined, staining the perfect marble stairs of Diet with their promise. Subaru also shared the fate of his love, the tangles of their dark and light making him unsure whether they were ever separate beings, or just one waiting to be returned to one another. Karen and Aoki lay side by side, separate yet together, never again to look upon the city and the ones they loved that dwelled within it. Yuhizurah's body rested alone, her all too youthful countenance betrayed by the fear and doubt still held in her empty blue eyes, slim hands bloodied from battle.   
  
Did they mean so little in the end that fate would allow their battle to go unheeded?  
  
"It was never supposed to end this way," the voice choked out again, words laden with guilt and hatred. The lone figure, stained in blood and tears of his own design and destiny, turned his face heavenward, towards the stars which still dared to shine in his moment of rage. The six stars of the sky shone even brighter than the others, almost as if wanting to reach out to him, to comfort him. But he spurned the false hope of anything beyond their death, brought about by a hand that was not so much divine as it was dark. "Damn you," he whispered to the heavens, the voice once more fading into the depths of the city before it reached it's destination, a pitiful sound born of something imperfect, impure. "What good is your power, the power of God, if I cannot even save those I love?"  
  
The air rang with his accusation. And no one had an answer. Throughout the entire work of God's creation, all felt the stab of blame through their heart, a feeling of desolation and sorrow powerful enough to make the universe halt for one brief moment. The very dark materials of creation wished for nothing more than the chance to reach him, to free his trapped soul of the horror of his station, to allow his beaten, dying spirit to breath once more. But not one dared.  
  
For he was Kamui.  
  
He drew himself up as the heavens began to cry, their pure tears cascading down around him to offer some solace, some sign that someone did indeed understand, did indeed care about his plight. It offered it's sorrow for him, that which the world was too proud and uncaring to show. But it's tears of purity and light paled to the tears of blood and anger that streaked down his own face, the tears of a damned soul. He absently raised a hand out to catch the glistening drops, watching distantly as they mixed with his blood, sullied crimson before they fell from his fingertips. The drops clung to him, perched in his hair like diamonds, as the torrent of the salty tears grew stronger.   
  
The rain fell. One drop, for the sacrifice. His blood mixed with the rain falling in the ashes, raising puffs of dust. Spirits. Two drops, for Kotori, his fallen angel. Three, for the Seals of light. Four, the Harbringers of dark. Five, hell, cursed place. Six, heaven, no less cursed. One, god, what god would do this? Two, devil, what devil would allow it? Three creation, four destruction, melding together as one in him. One, two drops, the world was consumed by darkness the blood of innocents staining the land. Three four, the sword, it cried along with the earth. It called to him, pleaded for him to allow it to end this. He raised the sacred symbol of destruction and ending, pressing it against his own chest, cold metal piercing colder skin, as the wind whipped around him screaming, as the rain begged him. They could do nothing. One drop, the rain, the sakura blossoms falling around him with the rain, or was it blood? Would they ever be pure enough again for him to tell the two apart? Two, his twin star with whom he would now share his fate, as the sword pressed closer into his body, seeking the center of his life. Three, life, what life? Four...  
  
...I am already dead.  
  
He laughed, a cold, chilling sound, as dark blood stained pale skin, and his violet eyes began to close. "Our father, who art in heaven," the boy whispered, his voice empty, his eyes and soul emptier still. His head raised, staring off into the distance, a smile that would have frozen the devil himself fixed on his delicate features. As his broken, failing heart finally ceased, his words were heard over the myriad account of creation, echoing in the silence.. "Cursed be thy name..."  
  
************  
  
Ah. I'd just like to sit here for a while and bask in the tragedy of it all :) Honestly, what would you do if you were caught in that situation? Damned by your god, forgotten by those you saved, and understood by none. This is just what I thought he'd do.  
  



End file.
